Teething-a short post about pain

So, Lexi's "tooth" keeps going in and out. I can see part of it sometimes but other times, I cannot see it at all. And she is miserable! She just keeps crying out like she's really in pain, and I hate it :-( I really wish I could take the pain for her, but I can't and I also know that this isn't the only time she's hurting and won't be able to help her. When she falls down, someone tells her she can't go to their birthday part, she gets her heart broken, any number of possibilities just kills me inside to think about. So I'm going to work on her quilt and watch her sleep.

Tooth number 1!!

Today I was getting Lexi dressed on the bed and she looked up at me and smiled and I saw a white little speck sticking out...so exciting!!! I'll write more later seeing as Lexi is going crazy pushing buttons on here making it tough to type :)

Pushing the limits

Lexi has recently started screaming whenever I tell her "no" or move her away from something she's not supposed to. I know this is perfectly normal, but it is also perfectly annoying. I don't want to be the mom who is always telling her child not to do something, I want to save the "no" for things that are especially dangerous or off limits. For example, I've been telling her for weeks not to play with the dog bowl and trying to redirect her attention, but finally one day I just said whatever and let her get a piece of dog food and she put it in her mouth and spit it right back out. I knew that it couldn't hurt her and I also knew that she wouldn't like it. She also hasn't tried to eat it since then (she still plays in the water, but that's another issue entirely). I really can't wait until we're living in our own home with Jon so I don't have to feel so nervous if she's getting into something that is my grandma's. I know that my grandma LOVES Lexi, but I can tell she's a little bit on edge if Lexi is going for something, like the dog dish or computer. In our own home, she'll be able to pretty much roam as she likes and then when she hears "no" it will mean so much more.

It's clear that she understands what "no" means, at least in the moment-I don't think she remembers today that I told her not to play with the candles yesterday-and she is clearly pushing the limits to see what she can get away with. Not only does she scream, but she laughs when I say "no". I am going to have my hands full when she's a little bit older, and I'm not looking forward to the debate with Jon about whether we should spank or not. I don't worry about a little swat on her rear if she's about to hurt herself after we told her not to do something, but I don't want to get into the habit where she's terrified to do something because she might be spanked. I want her to be free to explore her surroundings without feeling restricted (with supervision of course). I just think that Jon and I have drastically different views on raising a child, and we have a LOT of compromising in the future.

Oh well, she's happy and healthy and is flourishing in her development. I am so proud of my little baby (who's not so little anymore). I went to see my cousin who just had a baby last night and he is so so tiny and it's hard to remember Lexi being so small. And I know she was smaller than my cousin's son, but it's a distant memory filled with laughter, rolling over, scooting, rolling, and crying. I wouldn't change anything, but I am starting to get baby fever...

9 Month Check-Up

Lexi had her 9 month check-up this morning. Her doctor forgot to write down the fact that we changed the appointment so we met up at my work, which was actually better, I think. Lexi was playing and pulling herself up onto everything and her doctor was able to see how much she's grown and learned. She was weighed and measured as well...she weighs 18 pounds 6 ounces and is 28.5 inches long. At her 6 month check up, she weighed 15 pounds 13 ounces and was 26 inches long, so I think she's doing pretty well. She's just a tiny thing. For her height, she's in the 75th percentile and for her weight she's still in the 50th, which I'm okay with.

Brenda was so happy to see how much Lexi can do, and how happy of a baby she is. It's so great to hear how well your baby is doing.

...even though she's being a complete pill right now, just screaming and crying at me

The love of a mother

I am beyond baffled by how I can possibly love something/someone as much as I love Alexis. Jon told me the other day  that I love Lexi more than I love him. I've been contemplating that for a while, and...well, in a way, that is true. But the love that I feel for Jon and the love that I have for my daughter are so completely different, how could I even compare the two? Why would I even need to? It's not a contest.

I carried Lexi inside of me, "grew" her and felt her move, I gave her life. I feel that in a lot of ways, I "loved" her long before Jon really got used to the idea of her coming into the world-this is not a bad thing, I think it's pretty normal. How could I not have a bond so strong and unbreakable (not that you need to carry a child to feel this bond)? I see so much of myself in her already, stubborn little turkey that she is! When she hurts, I hurt. When she feels joy, so do I. She relies so completely on me for her most basic needs and, in a lot of ways, I rely on her for mine. I cannot remember how my life was without her, she reminds me of the simple things, she finds laughter in a game of Peek-a-boo, she only needs me to read and talk to her to feel secure, she doesn't need things, she needs my time. The little smile she gives me in that moment when I'm giving her a bottle, right before she drifts off to sleep is pretty much the closest thing to perfection I have ever known

As much as I love her dependency on me, my biggest fear is becoming a "helicopter mother". I allow her to explore her surroundings, to fall down (sometimes a little too hard for my heart to handle), she needs to make mistakes in order to make progress. Right now, those mistakes include getting too close to the steps (yikes!), eating the dog food (YUCK! Though, she did spit it right back out), and bumping into things. I see the benefits of my taking a step back whenever she learns something new or reaches a new milestone. The fact that she has fallen 2,000 times (maybe a bit of an exaggeration) does not keep Lexi from getting back up onto her feet and trying to stand alone, I see her feet twitching and I'm wondering how long it will be until she picks that foot up and takes the first step of millions in her lifetime.

Wow, I'm in such a mushy mood...and Jon, if you read this, know that I LOVE YOU TOO!! It's just a different kind of love, a kind of love that Lexi can't replace, so don't worry so much!

Tomorrow morning is Lexi's 9 month appointment, I'll update this with her "stats" once we find out. I'm guessing she made it to 20 pounds and is...30 inches? Any wagers? ;-)

When will the teeth come in?

From about 4.5 months, I've thought Lexi was teething, but she has yet to actually get anything in. However, for the past week or so, she's been drooling exponentially more, putting absolutely EVERYthing into her mouth (including a pacifier, which she hasn't used since she was 3 months old) and has been a lot more lethargic than normal.

She is also pulling herself up onto everything and cruising along and is able to let go and stand alone for about 20-30 seconds. I am not ready to be the mother of a walking child-though it is very, very exciting! 

Update on the food situation...For the most part, Lexi would not eat any kind of jarred baby food almost immediately after my first post about trying out different brands. So what I did was do a sort of modified baby led weaning. I would give her regular table food so she could experiment with textures and whatnot, but I would also feed her pieces so she could really get the idea of getting the food into her mouth, chew it, and swallow. Now, at just about nine months old, she eats pretty much anything we have for meals and as long as she's in the right mood, she'll get majority of the food and drop a little bit. 

One of the first times with a banana:

A few weeks ago at twigs with fruit:

It's so nice not to have to make or buy baby food, she really gets excited for meals and it's fun to see her explore new foods. Also, I should say that, considering the fact that she has ZERO teeth, she can eat meats and crackers and most things very well!