Sick...again!

If I could, I would quit my job and stay at home with Lexi! She gets sick about once a month, I don't know if she's just one of those kids who catches everything or this is normal, or something more serious is at work here :( I just know that I miss more work because she's sick, and she catches it from there, so it's a horrible cycle!

I woke up to her crying tonight (not too strange) but then she started retching and I turned on the light and there was vomit everywhere! She had a bit of diarrhea last night and now she's throwing up and won't drink anything (water or pedialyte). I called Jon, who thankfully reminded me about trying pedialyte to keep her hydrated. I tend to forget basic things when I'm worried. If she's not better in the morning, I'll call her doctor-who's probably tired of hearing from me. I'm tired of hearing from everyone that this is making her immune system stronger, how she won't get sick in the future. Well, guess what, at least when she's older she can tell me what hurts and understand that she needs to eat in order to feel better, she doesn't understand that right now :(

Looking back...

So much has changed in my life over the past year or so. I went from not even knowing if I ever wanted kids to having a daughter who is the light of my life and definitely wanting more in the future. Last year at this time, I was counting down the days until my due date (that was December 25, 2010) and reading up on everything baby related. I remember being scared and not knowing what to expect. I had started my birth classes, but Jon didn't want to go so I went to a couple by myself (didn't matter, I forgot everything they taught me). I remember that I was worried I wouldn't be prepared, but really no matter what I did or didn't do, Lexi is in charge and has been from day one. In 43 days, she will be one year old and she is such a little spitfire. Last year at this time I was 31 weeks pregnant, Lexi weighed as much as 4 naval oranges. It's so odd to think about her in those terms anymore, it's almost impossible to think of her inside of me growing. It is almost impossible to remember her as she was 10 short months ago...So again a little walk down (picture) memory lane (I've got hundreds of pictures already, and she's a little ham in front of the camera haha):

Birth

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 months

9 months

10 months

Ready, set, WALK!

Lexi took her first meaningful steps today, at 10 months, 1 week, and 2 days old! What I mean by this is that she has been taking one step every now and then for about a month, but she'd always sit right back down as soon as she'd get that one foot up. Last night she finally took two steps at a time, this afternoon, she took three, and by tonight, she walked almost the entire length of the room to get to the laundry basket! It's so amazing to see these first crucial steps and she gets so excited for herself when I cheer for her-she gets the BIGGEST grin ever! I know that she is going to take millions upon millions of steps in her life, and I've witnessed the first few! Also, Jon got to see her take several steps today! I'm so glad that she decided that today would be the day that she did it. It's hard to tell with him, but I am pretty sure he was just as excited as Lexi and I were :-)

This is not to say that I am delusional about what this means...a lot more running around for mommy is in the very near future! As soon as she gets her confidence up, she'll be unstoppable! And considering how long it took her to become comfortable crawling-that is no time at all-that should be about this coming Sunday haha Being a mother is pretty much the most amazing thing I've done in my life, and I enjoy so much taking in all of Lexi's milestones. I know that I would like to have more children in the future, but right now I cannot imagine loving another child as much as I love Lexi, obviously this would change, but I'm not sure how it would happen. I also know that I enjoyed a very "easy" pregnancy and Lexi was a low needs newborn and I know that not all pregnancies are the same and neither are all babies. Anyway, the prospect of another baby isn't in the near future, but these are the thoughts I've been having...Hard to believe that in a month and a half, Lexi will be a one year old! Where did the time go!?

"she gets that from you..."

Lexi has definitely got my attitude/temper! Anytime she can't do something-either because she physically can't or I won't let her-she will scream and usually starts to cry. She doesn't handle the word "no" very well, that's for sure! She's recently learned how to signal no with her arm and she'll do it when she knows that she shouldn't be doing something, but at the same time, I can see it in her eyes that she really wants to do it. She is also extremely independent and won't accept help from anyone even if it will make her life easier. For example, we had cheesecake for dessert this evening, and we gave her a little spoon with some on it and she LOVED it. I was trying to get the spoon to put some more on it, you would have thought I kicked her, the fit she threw! She cried until I handed it back to her with some on it, and did that little shudder cry. She did this the few more times I tried to give her more...oh boy, I've got my hands full hahaha

Now, what she got from Jon...his adventurous nature, that's FOR SURE! She will climb, tumble, roll, whatever it takes to get to where she wants to go. We have a gate that won't connect to the wall because of the molding on the wall, so we put her exersaucer in front of it, and she will spin the exersaucer until she can pull the gate down far enough down so she can crawl up it. She climbs in the seats at school and just looks around like "look at me!" I love her so much, but life is going to get infinitely more difficult as she gets older. I'm going to be a nervous wreck watching her toddle her way through the next few years, but it's so much fun to see all of the things she's learned!

I cannot believe she is going to be one in less than 2 months! We are going to have a Very Hungry Caterpillar theme...and we have a big visitor!!! Can't wait to see you B! Hope it's okay that I put that on here!

Teething-a short post about pain

So, Lexi's "tooth" keeps going in and out. I can see part of it sometimes but other times, I cannot see it at all. And she is miserable! She just keeps crying out like she's really in pain, and I hate it :-( I really wish I could take the pain for her, but I can't and I also know that this isn't the only time she's hurting and won't be able to help her. When she falls down, someone tells her she can't go to their birthday part, she gets her heart broken, any number of possibilities just kills me inside to think about. So I'm going to work on her quilt and watch her sleep.

Tooth number 1!!

Today I was getting Lexi dressed on the bed and she looked up at me and smiled and I saw a white little speck sticking out...so exciting!!! I'll write more later seeing as Lexi is going crazy pushing buttons on here making it tough to type :)

Pushing the limits

Lexi has recently started screaming whenever I tell her "no" or move her away from something she's not supposed to. I know this is perfectly normal, but it is also perfectly annoying. I don't want to be the mom who is always telling her child not to do something, I want to save the "no" for things that are especially dangerous or off limits. For example, I've been telling her for weeks not to play with the dog bowl and trying to redirect her attention, but finally one day I just said whatever and let her get a piece of dog food and she put it in her mouth and spit it right back out. I knew that it couldn't hurt her and I also knew that she wouldn't like it. She also hasn't tried to eat it since then (she still plays in the water, but that's another issue entirely). I really can't wait until we're living in our own home with Jon so I don't have to feel so nervous if she's getting into something that is my grandma's. I know that my grandma LOVES Lexi, but I can tell she's a little bit on edge if Lexi is going for something, like the dog dish or computer. In our own home, she'll be able to pretty much roam as she likes and then when she hears "no" it will mean so much more.

It's clear that she understands what "no" means, at least in the moment-I don't think she remembers today that I told her not to play with the candles yesterday-and she is clearly pushing the limits to see what she can get away with. Not only does she scream, but she laughs when I say "no". I am going to have my hands full when she's a little bit older, and I'm not looking forward to the debate with Jon about whether we should spank or not. I don't worry about a little swat on her rear if she's about to hurt herself after we told her not to do something, but I don't want to get into the habit where she's terrified to do something because she might be spanked. I want her to be free to explore her surroundings without feeling restricted (with supervision of course). I just think that Jon and I have drastically different views on raising a child, and we have a LOT of compromising in the future.

Oh well, she's happy and healthy and is flourishing in her development. I am so proud of my little baby (who's not so little anymore). I went to see my cousin who just had a baby last night and he is so so tiny and it's hard to remember Lexi being so small. And I know she was smaller than my cousin's son, but it's a distant memory filled with laughter, rolling over, scooting, rolling, and crying. I wouldn't change anything, but I am starting to get baby fever...

9 Month Check-Up

Lexi had her 9 month check-up this morning. Her doctor forgot to write down the fact that we changed the appointment so we met up at my work, which was actually better, I think. Lexi was playing and pulling herself up onto everything and her doctor was able to see how much she's grown and learned. She was weighed and measured as well...she weighs 18 pounds 6 ounces and is 28.5 inches long. At her 6 month check up, she weighed 15 pounds 13 ounces and was 26 inches long, so I think she's doing pretty well. She's just a tiny thing. For her height, she's in the 75th percentile and for her weight she's still in the 50th, which I'm okay with.

Brenda was so happy to see how much Lexi can do, and how happy of a baby she is. It's so great to hear how well your baby is doing.

...even though she's being a complete pill right now, just screaming and crying at me

The love of a mother

I am beyond baffled by how I can possibly love something/someone as much as I love Alexis. Jon told me the other day  that I love Lexi more than I love him. I've been contemplating that for a while, and...well, in a way, that is true. But the love that I feel for Jon and the love that I have for my daughter are so completely different, how could I even compare the two? Why would I even need to? It's not a contest.

I carried Lexi inside of me, "grew" her and felt her move, I gave her life. I feel that in a lot of ways, I "loved" her long before Jon really got used to the idea of her coming into the world-this is not a bad thing, I think it's pretty normal. How could I not have a bond so strong and unbreakable (not that you need to carry a child to feel this bond)? I see so much of myself in her already, stubborn little turkey that she is! When she hurts, I hurt. When she feels joy, so do I. She relies so completely on me for her most basic needs and, in a lot of ways, I rely on her for mine. I cannot remember how my life was without her, she reminds me of the simple things, she finds laughter in a game of Peek-a-boo, she only needs me to read and talk to her to feel secure, she doesn't need things, she needs my time. The little smile she gives me in that moment when I'm giving her a bottle, right before she drifts off to sleep is pretty much the closest thing to perfection I have ever known

As much as I love her dependency on me, my biggest fear is becoming a "helicopter mother". I allow her to explore her surroundings, to fall down (sometimes a little too hard for my heart to handle), she needs to make mistakes in order to make progress. Right now, those mistakes include getting too close to the steps (yikes!), eating the dog food (YUCK! Though, she did spit it right back out), and bumping into things. I see the benefits of my taking a step back whenever she learns something new or reaches a new milestone. The fact that she has fallen 2,000 times (maybe a bit of an exaggeration) does not keep Lexi from getting back up onto her feet and trying to stand alone, I see her feet twitching and I'm wondering how long it will be until she picks that foot up and takes the first step of millions in her lifetime.

Wow, I'm in such a mushy mood...and Jon, if you read this, know that I LOVE YOU TOO!! It's just a different kind of love, a kind of love that Lexi can't replace, so don't worry so much!

Tomorrow morning is Lexi's 9 month appointment, I'll update this with her "stats" once we find out. I'm guessing she made it to 20 pounds and is...30 inches? Any wagers? ;-)

When will the teeth come in?

From about 4.5 months, I've thought Lexi was teething, but she has yet to actually get anything in. However, for the past week or so, she's been drooling exponentially more, putting absolutely EVERYthing into her mouth (including a pacifier, which she hasn't used since she was 3 months old) and has been a lot more lethargic than normal.

She is also pulling herself up onto everything and cruising along and is able to let go and stand alone for about 20-30 seconds. I am not ready to be the mother of a walking child-though it is very, very exciting! 

Update on the food situation...For the most part, Lexi would not eat any kind of jarred baby food almost immediately after my first post about trying out different brands. So what I did was do a sort of modified baby led weaning. I would give her regular table food so she could experiment with textures and whatnot, but I would also feed her pieces so she could really get the idea of getting the food into her mouth, chew it, and swallow. Now, at just about nine months old, she eats pretty much anything we have for meals and as long as she's in the right mood, she'll get majority of the food and drop a little bit. 

One of the first times with a banana:

A few weeks ago at twigs with fruit:

It's so nice not to have to make or buy baby food, she really gets excited for meals and it's fun to see her explore new foods. Also, I should say that, considering the fact that she has ZERO teeth, she can eat meats and crackers and most things very well!